Thursday, February 23, 2006

Thursday Thirteen-Thirteen Reasons Why My Husband Drives Me Insane

Thirteen Reasons Why My Husband Makes Me Insane... Virenda
1. He has NOW come up with idea of getting rid of our "home" phone to replace it with "cell" phones instead. Why you ask? Because it's the "WAVE OF THE FUTURE!!" apparently NO ONE is going to have "home" phones 10 years from now. ~sigh~ Whatevah 2. His "ALLERGY" to cleaning and/or doing anything that requires him to get off his computer/laptop/Xbox... I think he has quite literally done the dishes 5 times in the last Oh, say 4 years. Yep, my husband is LAZY. 3. His ability to tell the same story over and over and over again. (love you sweetie) 4. One of my favorites.... His need to tell me a "story" that should only take 5 minutes, but some how he can drag it out into 30. That my friend is TALENT! 5. My least favorite, the fact that he ALWAYS has to get the newest computer gadget or game console. ~sigh~ He makes sure I know it's not a WANT but a NEED. 6. Let's get a little intimate ya'll... My husband is um "HAPPY" a lot, which means laying down to read a book is usually followed by me slapping his hands away and eventually leading to me yelling at him to "LEAVE ME ALONE", which leads to pouting and then leads to me smiling and finishing my book. Good times, good times. 7. My husband has the need to make fun of any and all people that DARE to cry on t.v. He cares not that your father is in prison, nor that you are poor and this is your 1 shot. Nope, he wants you to "suck" it up and STOP the crying. All that emotion makes him queasy. 8. Shall I mention my husbands love of cheese? I thought so. Okay he HAS to be one of the ONLY people I know that eats so badly he deserves to be on a show. HE will scarf down 4 double doubles (double burgers) and wash it down with a coke. Ask me how much he weighs?? Go on ask!! (170, 5'10) ~sigh~ bastard... 9. My husband can learn something extremely quick but if you dare to rush him, he throws a fit that makes my 3 year old blush. 10. While my husband is admittedly brilliant, he can NOT do two things at once. He will honestly short circuit and you WILL see steam come from his ears and he will start to turn in circles. You would think that I'm lying but I'm not. I ask for two things and he will go around in a circle and I will eventually find him at his "home" (computer) with a rubber ducky and a lost look on his face. 11. My husband has to cuddle. I'm rarely a cuddler, I like my space. I like to stretch across the bed and use 3 pillows, I have no need for a hairy leg or someone that wants to "cuddle". 12. My husband is a paranoid man. He thinks the internet is going to kill me and hackers will hack into our "mainframe" and steal our identity and sell it on the internet. He is for sure this blog will eventually lead to my kidnapping and death. Needless to say he doesn't really like my blog, he views it as the enemy. An enemy to conquer at all times, which means we have more "security" measures than I have shoes. 13. My husband is a lovely man and well, I LOVE him, BUT he can be SO sensitive. I made a comment that Taylor from American Idol was amazing but that I wasn't attracted to him. Wow, you'd think I told my husband to eat dirt and die. He stared at me and said, "That was so tacky." and than went to his office. Apparently he thought I was comparing Taylor to the rest of the AI contestants and imagined me being attracted to the other ones. ~sigh~ He confuses me... Links to other Thursday Thirteens! 1. Lena, makes me laugh 2. The Shizzle, Lisa 3. Shelli's Sentiments 4. Kelly, Miss Nello if your nasty... 5. Stacy, stacy, she's our girl!!! 6. Trouble, as in she causes a lot of it!:0) 7. Sam's Spot... 8. Renee, she's sassy! Ra-Knee! 9. Amanda, she makes me happy. 10. Mommy Of 4, she's busy... 11. Whiskey Talking. He's Sick, no really he is... 12. Hey Kimmy Your So Fine, You Blow My Mind Hey Kimmy!!! 13. Mama! Mama!, She's a funny one, that one. 14. IVY! 15. Dawn 16. Tanya. She has purple giraffes 17. Wendy has wings AND whimsies 18. Jane, she's cool cause she reads 19. Kdubs 20. Ladybug Crossing
Get the Thursday Thirteen code here! The purpose of the meme is to get to know everyone who participates a little bit better every Thursday. Visiting fellow Thirteeners is encouraged! If you participate, leave the link to your Thirteen in others comments. ItÂ’s easy, and fun! Be sure to update your Thirteen with links that are left for you, as well! I will link to everyone who participates and leaves a link to their 13 things. Trackbacks, pings, comment links accepted!

32 Comments:

Blogger hook said...

Are we married to the same person?

2/23/2006 10:08:00 AM  
Blogger Virenda said...

LOL...

Well if we are you can have him Mon-Friday.

2/23/2006 10:13:00 AM  
Blogger Shelli said...

It sounds like you have a classic case of male/female role reversal! ha ha

I would love to snuggle. Not my hubby.

Thanks for coming by my 13 and linking me already.

2/23/2006 10:27:00 AM  
Blogger Denial said...

#1 Sorry, I agree with hubby here… My home phone line is only plugged into tivo. I don’t even know the number.’

#2 Does he know Tony? Did they meet at “what husbands can get away with” conference?

#7 OMG, Tony has perfect timing to always interrupt me right when a movie hits it’s heart wrenching climax. Then he comments, “Are you crying? You have seen this like 80 times! You’re gay.” His sensitivity is what drew me to him.

#11 You can try Tony and I’s policy… 2 taps on the back mean cuddle time is over so roll over.

#12 Let me guess, does your husband like the Matrix movies?

Great post, I was totally LOL.

Mine are up.

2/23/2006 10:28:00 AM  
Blogger Lena said...

Vi, this is your best list EVER! When I say LOL, I mean it!

#6 - Yeah, that's also the downside of taking the laptop to bed rather than just staying in the office.

#10 - So true!!!

#12 - Stop it! Every single time anything is wrong with my computer Chris's answer is "Hackers! Virus! I told you!"


V, you work well under pressure.

2/23/2006 10:38:00 AM  
Blogger Lena said...

Also, about the cell phones...uh, are you people aware of brain tumors? HUH??

2/23/2006 10:39:00 AM  
Anonymous ~ Stacy ~ said...

OMGosh! On #'s 2, 3, 4, & 10, I'm thinking the same thing as hook. Our husbands are interchangeable there.

You've got me laughing hysterically here!

Last night, my husband REALLY needed a clean shirt for school today. But, um ... I haven't done any laundry all week. So, he actually threw in a load. The funny part ... we've had this washer & dryer set for a year, and he had to ask me how to use them both. Uh-huh. It was his first load in an ENTIRE year. He's spoiled rotten, ya know.

On #1. We did that last year. Not because it's the IN thing, but because the "land line" (as we call it), cost a freakin' fortune just to plug the damn thing in. Nearly $100 before any long distance. That's insane.

#6. My hubby is extremely happy too. But I like 'em that way. *grin*

#7. That's funny actually.

#12. LOL, my hubby is only slightly less paranoid than yours.

#13. Men. They're so sensitive and confusing. :P

Awesome TT today, Virenda! Thanks.

2/23/2006 10:44:00 AM  
Blogger Virenda said...

Um of course he loves THe Matrix

~sigh~

He's my nerd boy

2/23/2006 10:44:00 AM  
Blogger Denial said...

love how my name has "knee" in it. lol. My husband would be so proud!

2/23/2006 10:46:00 AM  
Anonymous ~ Stacy ~ said...

...His sensitivity is what drew me to him...

LOL @ Renee!

2/23/2006 10:47:00 AM  
Anonymous Ivy said...

My husband cant do two things at once either! But yet i'm expected to juggle the entire circus..

my 13 are up..

2/23/2006 11:35:00 AM  
Blogger Dawn said...

So loved this list. My hubby is 3, 7 & 8. He loves cheese and he loves to eat. He has an art of building his plate at church dinners.

Love your blog. Will be back:)

Thansk for visiting my TT.

2/23/2006 12:27:00 PM  
Blogger Sherri said...

I'm SO with you on the cell phone one!!

Thanks for stopping by my site:)

2/23/2006 12:35:00 PM  
Blogger Lazy Daisy said...

Sounds like he is very unique! I've always heard that if you were both alike then one of you is unnecessary. That being said, he sounds like he fulfills a vital role in your life! Thanks for coming by.

2/23/2006 12:45:00 PM  
Blogger Virenda said...

Yes he does feel a vital role...

He fixes my computer!


(ahhh... I crack myself up)

I love my sugar buns, I'm just teasing him.

2/23/2006 12:49:00 PM  
Blogger Tanya said...

Love this! So funny. And SO male.

Thanks for stopping by my 13.

And to answer your question, yes, I live in Townsville. No, I'm not trying to be anonymous - it was named after a guy called Robert Towns (but who cares - it still sounds dumb, I know). The name of the town is not the most pathetic thing about the town. It's sad.

2/23/2006 12:54:00 PM  
Blogger Kelly said...

Hilarious!
The cuddling thing is so right on for me. Hb loves it... I cannot stand it. My blog is my hb's enemy as well. I told him to calm down and deal. He currently trying to deal.

You are freaking hilarious.
You know that, right?

2/23/2006 01:55:00 PM  
Blogger WendyWings said...

I am really lucky my husband doesn't know how to even log onto the internet, has never sent an email on his own EVER, I have to do it for him.
He is so out of it LOL
Here I am 12 years online and having run HUGE sites in the past and he is still trying to figure out what "scroll" means and which x to close.
He has skills in other areas that I don't though.

2/23/2006 02:18:00 PM  
Blogger Jane said...

Husbands can be like that, can't they. But we do love them!
I loved your list and I appreciate you stopping by my 13 today. Hope you will come back soon!

2/23/2006 02:44:00 PM  
Blogger Susan said...

I thought these were hilarious. I am totally with him on #1. I am about to disconnect our landline. We never answer it anymore, and we check our messages about once a month. (as opposed to email, every 30 seconds)

I also love cheese.

I would kill anyone who tried to peel me away from my book.

He sounds like a total sweetheart. Oh, except for the washing dishes part. I recommend stocking up on several thousand paper plates.

2/23/2006 03:01:00 PM  
Blogger blog Portland said...

I have to agree with him on #7. Especially on shows like Extreme Makeover: Home Edition, where the set everyone up to cry, including that woman Paulie.

2/23/2006 04:02:00 PM  
Blogger FrogLegs said...

LOL! Oh gosh...

2/23/2006 04:08:00 PM  
Blogger monica said...

LOLOLOLOOL!

That was great.

2/23/2006 06:56:00 PM  
Blogger Kimmy said...

Okay...so "Kimmy and Jacob" is all you could come up with for me? Seriously! Not even a "Kimmy. Kimmy. She's so fine. She's so fine she blows my mind." Okay. So not that... "Mickey" is stuck in my head right now.

I couldn't stop giggling at the part where your husband takes forever to tell a 5 minute story. Jacob does the same. I'll motion for him to hurry it up then he gets mad and won't finish. Come on!

Thanks for stopping by!

2/23/2006 07:33:00 PM  
Blogger Amanda said...

Great list! If Ray took a five minute story and only spent thirty minutes telling it, he'd think he was having an off day. He's quite a talker.

BTW, I am SO TOUCHED that you linked to me before I left a comment (wiping away a tear of true blog-friendship). Thanks!

2/23/2006 07:36:00 PM  
Blogger LadyBugCrossing said...

Thanks for dropping by!

Is he an engineer?

LadyBug

2/23/2006 07:37:00 PM  
Blogger mommyof4 said...

LMAO!My husbands home is the computer too! When the going gets tuff he can be found at the computer and even when it not tuff. You.. computer junky men... you!!

2/23/2006 09:18:00 PM  
Blogger Kimmy said...

Yay! :p

2/23/2006 10:42:00 PM  
Blogger Sam said...

That is So Sweet, lolol!
My hubby hates too much emotion on TV too -
And I don't think he's ever done the dishes (though he will clear out the clean dishes from the machine, if the mood takes him)
He loves new gadgets but it afraid of the internet....
LOL - They are clones, lol!

2/24/2006 01:36:00 AM  
Blogger Lisa said...

#1 - my friend tried this, and it was more hassle than it was worth, I guess. :p But I have no idea - ours is with our cable company. :)

2/24/2006 06:54:00 AM  
Blogger Summer said...

I am pretty sure that this is the best Thirteen that I have ever read in my entire life! Hilarious honesty. HILARIOUS!

2/25/2006 10:47:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Virenda's Husband Says:

1. Waste of money... If I have a cell.. and She has a cell... and the home phone is just sitting there... why pay for it? If someone needs to get in touch with us... they just call us directly. It just means that there's no more "well... let me try her cell since shes not answering her home phone." Now it's just one number for each of us, and all she has to do is remember to charge the cell phone. :-)

2. Ok.. she's got me. :-(

3 and 4. This reminds me of another story... maybe you've heard it...

5. :-D

6. :-D Well at least I'm making efforts, eh?

7. It really depends on whats happening. If it's a sad news story, I can see getting choked up (depending). But c'mon... if someone is just talking about how all they want to do is to sing, and that if they don't make it on American idol, they just don't know what they will do... JEEEEZ!! Man up! No one cares! ~sigh~ Just get out there, give it yer best... and take no prisoners. Unless you suck. Then just go cry somewhere in private.

8. :-D A little food never hurt anybody.

9. ?

10. I have five words for you... A.D.D.

11. I have hairy legs?

12. Keeping hackers, script-kiddies, spyware, and automated bot-net worms out of our little home network is fairly easy. That's just a matter of configuring firewalls, maintaining flow control policies, and keeping a close watch on system security and authorization logs for abnormal activity. Identity theft is also a big problem on the Internet, but it can be combated by following best practices when shopping online, and using careful consideration of what information we include about ourselves in email, blogs, and other non-encrypted messaging mediums.

However, the challenge I have as the protector of my family is making sure they remain safe from predators that can become easily fixated on individuals putting themselves on the Internet for display. Sure.. sure... it's all in good fun, and I encourage my wife's healthy and talented outlet of creativity. But I also don't need some creep taking a look at pictures of my children (or my wife's feet on SPT... haha) and decide they're suited for their next target. So I simply urge caution and forethought about what she posts and the manner in which she interacts with strangers on the Internet. This sound ridiculous to anyone, else?

13. I believe the comments on the male artists preceding Taylor was, "God, I love him!" (which I was completely cool with... because I was saying the same thing)... But the last comment for Taylor was "God, I love him. But not in a sexual way." Uhhhhh.... So my gripe was with her strange need to make some type of left-field distinction between Taylor and the other male contestants. I thought it was tacky. ~sigh~ But hey ... I'm sure I just have to deal with my little insecurities, because I really do just love my little “honey bunches of oats”. :-(

BTW... I just LOVE Salma Hayek, Jessica Biel, Jessica Alba, and Rosanne Bar. But I don't like Rosanne Bar in a sexual way.

2/26/2006 12:34:00 PM  

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