Time to Reach Out...

Today I decided to look at other people's blogs here at blogspot.com, some of them were still in the making, others foreign languages, and a few of them were very good. I was able to read one called mamalife and enjoyed it very much, she was even kind enough to post a comment. I did realize though and I am ashamed, that the only post she could comment on was my daily quote, the rest were merely short superfical posts. See, I do like entertainment and gossip news, however that side of me, fights with the side of me that feels that life really isn't about the superficial or about beauty, life is about love and family, kindness, friendship, and generosity. I ask myself, why haven't I posted more about my 3 beautiful children? About my loving (sometimes jerky) husband, or more about my closest and dearest friend?! I guess I am nervous, about opening up, about sharing something deep. I dislike meeting new people because as I talk deep down I know they must think I am a flake or shallow, which in a way is true but there is so much more. My friend Kim, agrees with me, she says that you have to get to know me to see that I am REALLY caring, intelligent, and deep. I guess tonight will be the night that I at least post a paragraph about the "real" me. I am 22, 23 in March and I have 3 girls ages 6,4,2 (2 yr old turns 3 in 4 days). That may sound basic and boring to you, but if you notice my age then you will see, it is, in fact a whole can of worms. I had my first child at 16 and was married that same year, in April we will celebrate our 7th year together. We are a very happy and loving family, and I know I am a good mom, or at least I try my best. However I live in suburbia which means when I go to Old Navy to buy my daughters clothes or whatever, I get Oprah or Dr.Phil quoted to me. In fact my favorite one is: Strange lady, "Ohhh your sooo young! Why I would never let my daughter have sex at such a young age, after all like Dr. Phil says its better to be a parent then a friend. Right honey?!" Strange girls daughter, "Yes mom, your NOT my friend your My mother." S.L," That's right, I don't want you to end up like her." Hmmm....Gee thanks lady! I am perfectly happy with my life, and I watch Dr.Phil too. To bad he doesn't do an episode on rude strange lady's giving bad advice to uninterested harassed nice lady's that just want to buy some freakin pants for their daughters! Okay then... I have problems just like everyone else, my biggest problem is I always seem to be in some inner turmoil, fighting to be the best that I can be and failing. So yes I like gossip and I apologize for those out there that haven't had the chance (my fault) to get to know the real me. From now on, I will try to be more open and post more personal things. I better get to bed, I am very tired. Good Night All... p.s. I watched Wedding Crashers, its a pretty funny and crude movie. Any who don't like cussing or naked people or crude things, well then this is definetly NOT the movie for you. All others should give it a shot. p.s.s. I love this painting and have a copy hanging in my house.