I'm A Loser Baby So Why Don't Ya Kill Me?

I ended up with my first ticket (as you know) and it's due on the 10th. By the way the ticket was 400 dollars!!! Anyway here's the story and then I'm never going to speak of it again. I got a money order and brought it home put in on my counter and realized I lost the ticket they sent me in the mail. So I freaked out and went online where I noticed I could pay it on E-ticket. So I figured I'd go back to the bank, deposit the money order and do it that way.

What could go wrong? WHAT COULD GO WRONG I ASK YOU?! Me. Yes. I'm a dumb biotch and somehow lost the money order (Kids did it I know it. Little brats). LOST the money order. I spent all last night searching my trash on the off chance I threw it away. I searched bags and bags of OLD yucky trash. Did I also tell you I'm supposed to go on vacation and that people are redoing my carpets and tile while I'm away? I don't have another 400 bucks right now, everything I have is going to be used for the MANDATORY vacation. Sh!t like this always happens to me. I'm such a loser. Have a nice weekend.

Who DO YOU Think Should Replace Star Jones?

So for the few of you left that watch 'The View', who do you think should replace Star? I'm curious to see who they are going to choose myself.

Thanks go out to 14 from Gallery of the Absurd

Mariah Carey's Weird Diet

Her new plan is to ONLY eat purple food. Barney better watch the hell out, 'cause Mariah's coming. . .

"Mariah Carey will only eat purple food. The pop diva is convinced mauve-colored foods like red grapes and plums - known for their anti-ageing benefits - will stop her developing wrinkles. The songstress, who devised the diet with her nutritionist, now munches purple meals three days a week.A source is quoted in The Sun newspaper as saying: "It sounds off-the-wall but it's a huge injection of healthy food in one go. Purple products are nature's best weapons in the battle against ageing. There's a saying that 'a plum a day keeps a facelift away'." "Purple food can prevent breakdown of collagen and slow the wasting of muscles." It isn't the first time Mariah has tried a bizarre diet. Earlier this year, it was revealed she was living on plain fish and soup in a bid to shed her excess pounds. The curvy star took all calorific treats off the menu until she reached her target weight. She admitted she had been on a "really bleak diet, which is basically just soups and fish prepared really blandly."

Drew Barrymore In Missoni Fashion Ad

DAMN! Drew looks beautiful in these photos.

I like to save the best for last and this last photo, to me, is phenomenal.

Hilary Swank's Ad for Guerlain.

They made her look like a freaking cartoon. I think someone was a little to photoshop happy.

Courtney Cox & Daughter Coco

Here's little Coco doing what she does best and that's being cute and showing off her moms nipple. On a side note my 3 year old STILL doesn't understand that mommy's skirt shouldn't be tucked into her underwear in the middle of the mall. Anyone want a 3 year old?

Click HERE for the next photo.

Pamela Anderson Has NOT Aged Well

Oh how the mighty hotness has fallen.

My tile is being ripped out as I type this which means my HEAD is pounding. So if I'm off it's because NO ONE can be that funny or interesting when they are big ass hammers breaking tile.

Kimberly Stewart Bought Some Boobs. Again.

It seems Kimberly decided to get some fake boobs again after the last ones didn't quite work out. Someone should tell her that it's her face that needs work not her once flat chest.

Source-DrunkenStepfather

Paris Hilton & Robert Cavalli Make Me Sick

Seeing these photos makes me want to take a VERY hot shower until I burn my skin off.

Here's my challenge y'all. CAPTION THIS!

Jessica Alba-Not So Cute Look

Here's Jessica trying to be "cute" by making faces. I don't think she pulled it off but hey I don't have a penis so what do I know...?...

Jim Carrey & Jenny McCarthy

I hate your happiness Jim. It's not allowed and I wont stand for it.

I am so not happy about this.

Posh Beckham Showing Off The "Goods"

Posh is addictive. I didn't like coffee at first cause it was so bitter but now I adore it. Posh is like that, she irritates me but I love to hate her.

The Guess The Celebrity Legs Winner

The lady behind the legs is KATE MOSS!

And the WINNER IS... 1. Katie

Melanie Griffith Is Looking Good

Uhhh... Maybe the camera is out of focus, or maybe those AA meetings are working wonders and she's simply happy and healthy. I'm going to go with the ladder 'cause it makes me happy.

Not feeling those boots but I'm a shoe snob so don't mind me.

Guess The Celebrity Legs...

I'm hardcore loving this game y'all. I'm a big guessing game fan myself so I hope you guys like it. Let me know if you want to keep it around or get rid of it. This is a Democracy so the most votes win. Your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to guess who these celebrity legs belong to.

1st Clue is... She's known globally.

Who's Hotter-Royalty Edition

Okay so when they were younger it was ALL about Prince William, I mean he was smoking hot and obviously took after his mother. Well now time has taken it's toll and Prince William is getting soft and balding while his younger brother Harry is getting older and stronger, taller and well you get the point.

Who's HOTTER, Prince William or Prince Harry?

This is a hard one. I've seen recent pics of Prince William and he's starting to look like his dad, however I'm not really down for men with red hair. Ummmmmmmmm??? I'm going to sayyyyyyy...... PRINCE HARRY IS HOTTER!

Princess Letizia

Wow this is the first time I've posted royalty, well besides the one time I posted about Prince Williams bald spot. Here's Princess Letizia attending the football game between Spain and France. I wanna be a princess to, like Grace Kelly only without the cheating y spouse part.

Jessica Alba-Cute Look Of The Day

She only gets to grace the "cute look of the day" because she was smart enough to go buy a completely adorable Pitbull puppy. Okay back to the regular schedule program of hating her.

I don't really hate her but I want too.

Vonage V Phone Launch

Uhhh??? When the hell did Vonage start doing these lame a$$ "launch" parties? It seems all the A listers came out. . .

Liv Tyler. Um, WTH were you doing there GF?

Maggie Grace (She was killed off on Lost)

Emilie De Ravin (Lost)

Haylie Duff who for some reason irritates people because she resembles a horse and has an unfortunate nose. I don't find her that irritating, but I do find her sister completely obnoxious.

Christina Aguilera Performs At The 'Buddha Bar' In NYC

She's so photogenic.

And yes I did pick the ugliest photo to post first and ya know what? I'm okay with that.

Jodie Marsh At The "Just My Luck" Premiere...

Well damn. I never thought I'd be so happy that the only whores we have are Anna Nicole and Pamela Anderson. 'Cause shit could be a lot worse. Take UK's Jodie Marsh for example...

Now that your done staring at the WORST implants ever, I direct you to her truly, truly ugly face. Girl is so tore up it pains me too look at her in the eye. So maybe implants that are as hard as rocks was a good thing. I'm not sure where to go with that outfit.

Oh and here's a before the implant look at Jodie...

I love when girls decide to wear tape as a blouse and a belt as a skirt.

Paris Hilton-Not So Pretty Look

Yeah someone needs to tell Paris to leave that kind of outfit to Nicole .

This is a truly ugly outfit for a truly ugly girl.

Pamela Anderson Bares All For PETA

Pamela was asked to stand naked in a store front window in London to speak out for PETA and against those that wear furs. I'm not sure why they think standing Pammie naked is something exciting. I'm pretty sure her "career" was based on her being naked and the occasional bathing suit, or sex tape.

Don't you suddenly have a blazing desire to go kill a few hundred rabbits? No? Hmmm... Must be me.

Pictures of Britney Spears & Family.

Here's some of the newest/oldest photos of Brit actually smiling and looking happy. These just came out but obviously were taken before she went and dyed her hair black. It's nice to see the family happy and I LOVE SPF. He is truly adorable.

Ahhhh...Who's the cutest wittle baby boy?! You are!

Doesn't she look a bit like a crazed cheerleader?

Mena Suvari Has A Great Body

Wow. Who knew? Well maybe all the horn dogs out there did but I didn't. Girl has got some bootie. Okay enough about Mena let's talk about my self-loathing and inability to lose 10 lbs. WTF, people?! Why is it so damn hard? Any advice would be appreciated. Not crappy Jenny Craig advice though, oh and I already know the "wonders" of coke and vomit. I think I'll pass.